Gunman Cruz “fell through the cracks” during a gun licence check. The gunshop owner says he is “looking into” fixing the cracks in his gun shop, reports say
The owner of an everyday shopping centre gun shop has said he is “looking into” how the gunman who killed 17 people in Florida managed to “fall through the cracks” when he visited his store to buy a gun, but he believes it may have been a simple case of wood rot.
Sources say Nikolas Cruz visited Happy Sunrise Gunshop while the store was undergoing renovation and extensive repairs for wood worm damage.
Cruz is said to have enquired about buying a gun, to which the gunshop owner replied that if you were looking to buy a gun “you’ve come to the right place,” to which the gunman said, “Great, I’ll have a gun then, please,” to which the gunshop owner said, “Hold your horses there, buddy, we ain’t got a system in place for nothin’.”
“Not just anyone can buy a gun, you see,” said gun shop proprietor and NRA member Jerry ‘Shootems’ McGunLord, adding, “I asked the boy if he had all the necessary legal documentation in order to own a gun, to which the boy said ‘sure thing’.”
At this point, reports say Cruz took a step to the right and fell through the cracks in the rotting floorboards, landing in the gunshop basement.
Shootems, as Mr McGunLord is known to friends, helped Cruz out of the basement by passing down the barrel of a gun, and then selling the boy a gun.
“The basement’s where I keep all my best guns and special explosive devices, I couldn’t have him going mouthing off about that,” said Shootems, who said Cruz wasn’t the first to “fall through the cracks.”
It has since been revealed that the cracks in the floorboards through which Cruz fell had been visible long before the gunshop had been in business but Mr McGunLord had failed to act, stating initially that the cracks “added character” and “were not in breach of the 2nd amendment,” which was the important thing. The cracks in the gunshop were allegedly covered by a thin sheet of wallpaper with a floorboard design and a poster with a slogan that said “Guns don’t kill people, people with guns kill people” but with the “with guns” bit crossed out because it undermines the argument.
Mr McGunLord confessed that he had tried to paper over the cracks, because “ever heard of the 2nd Amendment?” but that, in hindsight, tearing up the whole floor and replacing it with a more secure floor may result in fewer cracks for people to fall through.
“But I don’t think the NRA are going to subsidise it,” he added.
“There are loads of rickety old gunshops all across the States,” said one wood rot expert, “There’s plenty more cracks where that came from.”
Mr McGunLord, says it was unfortunate that the shooter “fell through the cracks” but stressed that it was more important that the focus is on the problem of mental health and not the cracks that people fall through in gun shops.
“I’m very concerned about mental health issues,” said Shootems, making his regular token comment about mental health, which he believes people should talk about more and talk more loudly about than gun reforms, especially after a shooting. “I couldn’t be more concerned about mental health right now if I tried,” he added, directing the debate as disingenuously as possible. “And I hope something can be done about it,” said the gun shop owner with vested interests, “because other countries don’t have anywhere near as many mental health problems as we do, and looking at the statistics mentally ill people are some of my best customers.”
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